Sunday, September 19, 2010

i think too much.

"Is ignorance bliss, i don' t know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? i think and think and think, i've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it."
-Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close-

i stumbled upon this earlier today when i was reading quotes i highlighted whilst reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. perhaps my adoration for Jonathan Safran Foer's books is derived from my being able to identify so well with so many of the things he says. he has a way with words that puts to shame anything else i've ever read.

for as long as i can remember, i have been a thinker. unlike most kids my age who rode in the backseat with their eyes glued to their beloved gameboy, i was always looking out the window daydreaming. i would study everyone who drove by, thinking about how mind-boggling it is that they are thinking their own thoughts, completely separate from my own, and how they are motivated by experiences and responsibilities i would never know. and judging by their disposition, i would draw conclusions regarding how they might be feeling that day. then i would lean back in my seat, and think about how lonely that made me feel. to this day, every time i walk by a table with an elderly man or woman sitting alone drinking sweet tea, it breaks my heart. and i'm not talking about a tinge of sadness, i'm talking full-on heart wrenching anguish. for some reason, i've always had an uncanny ability to read and relate to people, and that has greatly impacted the way i live my life. another realization i've come to know is that i am someone who cannot give up on anyone. i love too much. surely i am not the only person on this planet who realizes that there is more to this life than making money, and living the american dream. there are far too many broken people in this world to be selfish with love. with support. with friendship. with anything. everyone you meet is struggling with something, and if you can make that burden lighter, even if only for an instant, shouldn't you? would you not want someone to the same for you? how much different life would be if people started loving as much as they hate. or forgiving as often as they judge. of asking instead of assuming.

how beautiful would that be?

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