"We should probably head out, Joan. I know these boys must be suffocating under this bed."

hahaha, this quote, from none other than my adorable Pop, absolutely made my day.

he and nana, in their amazing-ness, kindly drove the two hours from birmingham to troy to take me, rachel, and aly to lunch. we ate at Sisters, a quaint restaurant known for it's down-home southern cookin'. and trust me, neither the baked chicken, ham, roast beef, nor the sweet potato casserole, creamed corn, green bean casserole disappointed...and that is just the tip of the iceburg. after devouring our first two plates, rachel, alyssa and i quickly decided our mode of attack would be to get one of each dessert (peach cobbler, apple cobbler, banana pudding, cherry cake, bread pudding, etc) and share. pop, in an attempt to make me look like a complete fatty, i'm sure, got me to also get him two pieces of chocolate cake. and boy, did i get some interesting looks on the walk back to our table, haha.

despite this disturbing act of gluttony, today has been wonderful.

i truly couldn't ask for better grandparents. i don't know anyone else who has a nana and pop who would wake up, drive two hours to spend an hour at lunch and thirty minutes in a dorm afterwards, only to turn around and drive two hours back home. on a saturday. when i grow up and have children and grandchildren of my own, i hope that i am just like them. sure, sometimes nana can be overbearing, but she has all of the qualities a woman of God should possess. moreso, i know that if i ever needed anything, and i mean anything, they would be there for me in an instant. i know people toss that statement around all the time, but how often do you truly BELIEVE them when they say that to you?

i'm disgustingly blessed, and it breaks my heart to know that i forget it sometimes.

life is calling, but we're too busy texting

what i find incredibly saddening is that our society has come to the point where each of us is too self-absorbed and too busy to take the time to get to know someone. i mean, to really get to know them. it seems that most relationships formed these days would be better described as pseudo-relationships in that we talk to people, but we never really say anything, and we hear, but we don't ever actually listen.

therefore, i propose an idea. the next time you're out with your friends for dinner, keep the cell phone in your purse. can you truly have an intimate conversation with someone while you're having six mini-conversations at the same time? the answer is no.

in essence, take the time to pay attention to the people around you. by letting your life be driven by your cell phone, you're missing out on truly living.

food for thought.

LOVE

is quite possibly the most overused word in the English language. How can one say that one loves Doritos, and then, on one's wedding day, use that same word to describe feelings for one's husband or wife? by saying we love a certain song, or someone's dress, or the weather, or working out, do we not somehow cheapen the word that should be reserved for only the rarest and truest of occasions?

well folks,

considering it has been over a year since i've posted on here, it seems i have made a liar out of myself. In my previous post, i swore i would never neglect my blog in such a way ever again, but it seems as though i did. However, my desire to write has since been rekindled, so i suppose i shall try this again. An indescribable amount has changed in the past seventeen months.

in a previous post, i made an incomplete set of the goals i had for myself, and listed things i wanted to experience over my lifetime. i believe the time has come to edit and revisit said goals.


shall we begin?


numbers one and two of my list, learn french and spanish, can be removed. not because i deem them unworthy, but rather because i have taken up an interest in german, and am applying myself rather devotedly to becoming fluent. number three, "travel. everywhere," is still very much a priority of mine. i believe there is so much more to this world than just the United States of America, and that learning of cultures other than our own is not only the noble thing to do, but the right one. number four, "write at least one book of poetry" has fallen by the wayside, not because i have quit admiring and being inspired by things, but because i find poetry hard to write unless i am emotionally distraught, which makes producing poetry far more difficult than one would assume. as for number five, my roommate, rachel, and i are running a half-marathon in february, so we shall see how that goes. number six-skydiving-was an incredible experience. my parents purchased me a ticket as a nineteenth birthday present, but i did not get to actually go until six months later. mmm, number seven, how i want so badly to make you come true. discovering something scientific, or even being there when someone else does, would be such an exciting feat. number eight seems to pale in comparison, but i believe music and art culture is still of the utmost importance. number nine, to inspire someone, is perhaps one of my favorite subjects on the list. to inspire is to create in someone an inconsolable desire. i want that. number ten, to make a difference in someone's life, is something i try to do every single day. well, i suppose we do it whether we realize it or not, it is just up to us whether the difference we make is positive or negative. i want to make mine a positive one. oh my, number eleven, how elusive you are. never letting myself forget how blessed i am has been harder and lovelier than one could possibly imagine. despite all the wonderful opportunities, people, and experiences i have been blessed with, i still struggle to find peace in myself. i suppose that is why my list of goals is not something i just come to, but rather something to work towards. hopefully, at the end of my life, i can say i've spent my time in a way i'm proud of, but i guess that's something i will have to decide when the time comes.

perhaps, since it's been quite some time, i should take a second to write about what i have been going through, and what i've learned from those experiences.

in the past year and a half, i have:


-had my heart broken, and broken someone elses heart simultaneously.
-let myself make mistakes that have ricocheyd in such a way that i felt i would never heal from them.
-fallen into a quicksand of depression so deep at times i was not sure if i could pull through.
-learned that there is so much to live for, such as family, friends, and love. it is love-the love of friends, family, God-that gives me hope.
-wondered what it would be like to quit trying to be the shelby that everyone wants me to be, and to be true to myself. to not let other people's expectations dictate my life.
-fought tooth and nail to make that dream a reality, and slowly but surely, i believe i can see the transformation. it's a beautiful thing.
-given up on love, only to realize that for me that is an impossibility. what a beautiful realization.

life, i've come to realize, is far grander than i ever could have imagined. i feel as though i've come such a long way, and experienced such incredible things, only to see that my journey has only just begun. to think that the feelings i've felt this past year-the highs, the lows-are maybe not as extreme as they seem at the time, is an interesting thought. why is it that only when we are in the throws of an argument with a close friend, or when we realize that someone we love has changed, are we ridden with mind-blowing emotion? why can't seeing a shooting star fill us with the same wonder that we feel when we meet someone new? perhaps in self-preservation we have sealed off the part of our heart that allows merriment and sadness and everything in between, and we open it only when we feel safe. what if we threw off our inhibitions just one time? can you imagine the difference it would make? sure, you put yourself at risk, but at the sake of something far bigger than you've ever experienced. i don't know about you-because surely it's not for everyone-but i believe it is worth it.