Saturday, February 7, 2009

FORGiVEN

"FORGiVEN by DEB TALAN"
You worry on, hurting anybody anymore
You worry on, small comfort
One of us seems not to tremble
You make a rift inside me every day
Then you choose to stay
I walk the edge and push it wider

You are forgiven
I open all my doors
You are forgiven
What a heart is for
I am no martyr
You give me reason
I try harder
and I wait
for a warmer season
Meanwhile,
You are forgiven

I hear a soft noise like a sigh,
A singing like a lullaby
It is my heart
It is this wind that blows through
Where you held me closer, where we whisper
This is, this is true

You are forgiven
I open all my doors
You are forgiven
What a heart is for
I am no martyr
You give me reason
I try harder
And I wait
for a warmer season
Meanwhile,
You are
forgiven

And it's time to go
I cannot stay, you cannot know my love
So dear, will it be faith or fear?

You are forgiven
I open all my doors
You are forgiven
What a heart is for
I am no martyr
You give me reason
I try harder
and I wait
for a warmer season
Meanwhile,
You are
forgiven

You are
forgiven


in my opionion, this song captures the pure beauty and majesty of what it really means to truly forgive. the combination of her voice, the soft guitar, and these lyrics makes me tear up every time i hear it. to think that someone who has been hurt that badly can still find forgiveness in her heart is so endearing. the pain and hurting in the lyrics combined with her willingness to forgive, even now, is so touching.

Friday, February 6, 2009

iNSPiRATiONS

this wednesday, i had an hour between when math class concluded and my noon-time lunch with my friends begun, so i decided to go to the bookstore. i wandered around in search of a book that caught my eye until i found one that sparked my interest. it was entitled The Great Influenza, and it was about diseases of that time period and how science has advanced so much in the past two hundred years. i only got to read for about an hour, but i found it incredibly intriguing. then again, i am quite obsessed with things of that sort, and have always found myself fascinated with viruses and science.

on another note, i have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and i feel that there are so many goals i want to obtain in life, and not nearly enough time. it's so strange to me, feeling suffocated by my own ambitions. i have recently decided to finish learning Spanish, and to learn French over the summer. i have an incredible desire to succeed in whatever i decide to pursue, and it seems to be taking its toll on me. i won't ever give up on my goals though, until i reach them that is.

because of this, i've decided to make a wish list of sorts of all the things i wish to accomplish before i die.

1. learn French.
2. learn Spanish.
3. travel. everywhere.
4. write at least one book of poetry.
5. run a marathon.
6. go skydiving.
7. discover something scientific.
8. see at least one opera every year.
9. inspire someone.
10. make a difference in someone's life.
11. never let myself forget how blessed i am.

Monday, February 2, 2009

LEARNING: the act or process of acquiring knowledge or skill.


i absolutely love to learn. unlike most college students, i'm not just here to party every night and barely scrape by. my english professor, dr. kaylor, has served as such an inspiration to me. when he was eighteen, he ran away to europe and lived in Germany and France for eight years. during his lifetime, he has been to over twenty countries, become fluent in four languages (that i know of), written books, and so much more. when i'm older and i look back on my life, besides obtaining all the "normal" desires of family and love, i want to see that i actually went through my life ALIVE. conscious of the things happening around me. i want to look back and know that i was in touch with nature, and i read literature that actually meant something. i want to be able to read books upon books of poetry i've written, and i want to look back and know that i lived my life obtaining knowledge. i want to travel. i want to be fluent in more than one language. i want to experience other cultures besides that of America. i want to be able to remember the way the sunset looks, the way the wind blows my hair when i sit by the pond and write. i want to remember the smell of coffeeshops, the smell of spring, and fall, and summer. i hope that i will be able to look back and remember all the times i sat outside thinking, writing, and reading. i want to know that i'm not just living this life going through the motions of waking up, getting dressed, eating, working out, talking on the phone, and going to bed just to wake up and repeat the cycle again. what kind of life is that? i wish to never allow myself to get caught up in the mundane day-to-day way of living. WAKE UP AND LIVE!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

a poem

fury like burning embers licks its way up my throat,
suffocating me,
choking out the light.
this pain. charring my heart,
creating a scream
my lips cannot yet utter.
torment so alive,
it cannot help but destroy
all it touches.
my mind begs for mercy,
but it turns a deaf ear.
there is no escape.
from this agony.
from this pain.
from you.