Tuesday, September 28, 2010


1. charming or exquisitely beautiful.

2. having a beauty that appeals to the heart or mind as well as to the eye, as a person or a face.

3. delightful; highly pleasing.

4. of a great moral or spiritual beauty.

pretty. sweet. hot. nice.

these are the words i hear used most often when a guy is referring to a girl they think is attractive. even when in a relationship, most of the words used to speak to each other are somewhat similar to these. whatever happened to enchanting, enthralling, lovely, stunning, gorgeous, or precious? are we so lazy that our vocabulary is limited to these lackluster words?

how is it that while we are one of the only countries in the entire world that speaks only one language, the vast majority of us don't even speak it well? whatever happened to the eloquent way of speaking that led to thousands of books of english poetry? i bet one would be hard pressed to find a decent book written in such simplistic format.

we need to pick up the pace, america.

my love, needless to say i am blessed by you

the title to this particular post has absolutely no relevance to what i will be writing about. i just adore the song changed by you by between the trees, and have consequently had it stuck in my head for ages.

moving onwards. a gentleman, who also happens to be perhaps the most intellectual individual my age i have met thus far, sent me a facebook message last night. this message, a well-written hodgepodge of information and youtube videos, told to me the story of his life over the past few months. as of last week, this very successful college graduate has packed up his belongings and, in an attempt to find meaning in life whilst calming his adventurous spirit, has moved to Wyoming. through visiting elderly people and volunteering at other places, he has begun living. what a marvelous thing.

funny to me, how i share this story with a few friends, and they turn green with envy. what boggles my mind is the fact that each of us has the ability to do this very thing-come alive-and yet we make a conscious choice not to. why? because it is easier to live a comfortable life. a life with no risks, a life where you know what you'll be doing and who you'll be spending time with tomorrow and the day after. but in the end, is comfort really worth settling for? is this idea of certainty worth giving up the thrill that each of us was not only born for, but craves? i think not.

perhaps we should quit making plans for next week, next month, next year, and just start with living our life today.

baby steps, my dears, baby steps.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


because i am far too tired to think of big words, do not expect this to be eloquently written.

today i went to my favorite class, had a freaking hard workout, then spend the remainder of the day with my lovely/hilarious/wonderful friends on the quad basking in the beautiful fall weather. after a fun-filled dinner with said people, i went back to the quad and sat on a swing with someone who is rapidly becoming one of my favorite people before going to a worship service at nine. i really don't have the words to describe how great today was, and how incredibly blessed i am.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


not that my life has been completely terrible, but it has been extra wonderful as of late. i have finally found friends who have learned to accept, and even embrace, my quirky comments and ways of thinking. it's really quite nice to actually have people in my life who enjoy discussing things that really matter, and who don't give me strange looks whenever i say something random or thoughtful.

on another note, after class last night i decided i wanted to sit on the quad to do some studying for the two tests i have today. just as i was getting cozy on one of the benches under a streetlamp, kris texted me and said that there was a worship concert going on at the ampitheater. as we walked up, the band was playing "how he loves" by David Crowder Band, which happens to be one of my all time favorite worship songs. if you don't know it, i highly reccomend looking it up. it really just drives home how much God loves each of us, and how he redeems each of us, and is more than happy to do so. i cannot listen to it without being overcome with an immense sense of gratitude. to think that the One who made the mountains, the tulips, the stars, and everything beautiful takes the time to pursue my fragile, deceitful, broken heart is so hard for me to comprehend. i love Him, and i want to continue loving and living for Him everyday for the rest of my life, not because it's easy, but because He deserves it.

the other day, i asked someone what they wanted out of life, and the answer i got in response made my heart smile.
he said that he wants to live the life that God puts before him, and that he wants to be content with that, whatever it might bring. i really can't describe how incredibly happy i was to read that, mostly because that would have been my answer, word for word. i wish more people i know would just let God tell them what to do with their lives instead of chasing after money and power, mostly because i know that these things won't ever truly satisfy. it breaks my heart to know that people waste their time on things they think will bring fulfillment, only to go to bed heartbroken and lonely because they're still empty, still unsatisfied.

God's love is enough. His grace is sufficient. Let him ravish your heart and transform your mind. it's truly a beautiful thing.

Monday, September 20, 2010

i feel so empty today.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

i think too much.

"Is ignorance bliss, i don' t know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? i think and think and think, i've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it."
-Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close-

i stumbled upon this earlier today when i was reading quotes i highlighted whilst reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. perhaps my adoration for Jonathan Safran Foer's books is derived from my being able to identify so well with so many of the things he says. he has a way with words that puts to shame anything else i've ever read.

for as long as i can remember, i have been a thinker. unlike most kids my age who rode in the backseat with their eyes glued to their beloved gameboy, i was always looking out the window daydreaming. i would study everyone who drove by, thinking about how mind-boggling it is that they are thinking their own thoughts, completely separate from my own, and how they are motivated by experiences and responsibilities i would never know. and judging by their disposition, i would draw conclusions regarding how they might be feeling that day. then i would lean back in my seat, and think about how lonely that made me feel. to this day, every time i walk by a table with an elderly man or woman sitting alone drinking sweet tea, it breaks my heart. and i'm not talking about a tinge of sadness, i'm talking full-on heart wrenching anguish. for some reason, i've always had an uncanny ability to read and relate to people, and that has greatly impacted the way i live my life. another realization i've come to know is that i am someone who cannot give up on anyone. i love too much. surely i am not the only person on this planet who realizes that there is more to this life than making money, and living the american dream. there are far too many broken people in this world to be selfish with love. with support. with friendship. with anything. everyone you meet is struggling with something, and if you can make that burden lighter, even if only for an instant, shouldn't you? would you not want someone to the same for you? how much different life would be if people started loving as much as they hate. or forgiving as often as they judge. of asking instead of assuming.

how beautiful would that be?

Saturday, September 18, 2010

i believe there is an innate desire in each of us to recognize the beauty in the world around us. i know it is true for me. there is nothing i enjoy more than going outside, lying on my back and staring in awe of this world that God created. how can you overlook the magesty of the sky above you-the way the sun shimmers off the clouds? are you not moved by the way the wind blows across your face, carrying with it the crisp leaves of fall? does the sound of the chirping birds not fill you with an immense yearning to close your eyes and for one moment, be still? how can you not be humbled by it all? this world is filled with surreal beauty, if only we would take the time to notice. how often do you take the time to lie on your back and think? and i mean REALLY think. about the meaning of life, or what the purpose of your existance is?

i believe your answer would be the same as everyone else's. not nearly enough.